And Two Became One...

I have come to realize that some people are so naive about marriage. Now of course I am no expert, especially since I have not been there before. But generally speaking people have come to rely on the fact that "Hey if I don't like you any more, we can always get a divorce." It's sad that our country has come to accept this kind of thinking. I believe that this starts way before a diamond is ever exchanged.

It all starts in the pre-dating phase. You see a cute boy or pretty girl and you think "Wow I would like to go out with her/him!" And if he turns out to be a jerk or she turns out to be full of herself, well there wont be a date number two. Which is fine. At that point at least. Then there is the dating or courting stage where things get more serious. And again people think "If he annoys me, I can dump him." Which is still true and acceptable at this point. Then comes the diamond! And well once again the famous line comes up "If things go bad we can call the wedding off." Sadly once the vows are exchanged not much changes because "Hey we can just get a divorce."

The past two years I have seen many couples get married. It is so interesting to watch them. You can always tell which ones are gonna make it. They don't have the attitude that there is a way out. They know that this is for real and forever. Then there are the ones that you wonder how on earth they made it this far! It is really sad to watch couples like this go from being what they think is "in love" to people who hate each other.

I have decided there are a few musts when getting married. First off, you must be able to get along. If you fight at all I would say there might be a problem. Disagreements are fine and so are arguments. However, when someone is screaming that they hate the other or you have yelling matches, I think you might need to re-evaluate somethings, especially if it happens often.

Second, you must get along with each other's family. This one is so incredibly important! I have heard before if your family doesn't like him/her it wont last. I believe this to be 100% true. The bond of blood is so thick. Families are the roots beneath you that never go anywhere. Your constant supporters. These people love you for you and embrace your imperfections as though they are perfect. If you bring someone home who is disrespectful, rude, or bad mouthing your family, you need to re-evaluate somethings. If they have such low thoughts of your family or your family has low thoughts of them, it will put a divider between you and him/her and one between you and your family as well. Also, the day you say your vows you are not only saying them to the person who stands before you. You are agreeing to be a part of a family. You need to realize that on your wedding day you are telling your future spouse that not only will you love them and be true to them, but that you will embrace their family and love their family as your own.

You must respect each other. Respect is the basis of love. If you don't respect the person you are with, you can't honestly say you love them. If the person you are with doesn't respect you, they don't love you and you deserve so much better than that.

You must be of the same faith. This one is a little touchy, especially since I have seen so many couples of different faiths actually stay married for a long time. It is so hard to be with someone who doesn't share your views and beliefs. This can cause a wedge to form between you that will slowly eat away at your relationship until nothing is left.

I will leave you with one more thing, you must love each other! Without love, you have nothing.