Friendship

According to the dictionary a friend is defined as follows:

1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter.
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile.

4. a member of the same nation, party, etc.

Personally, I don't think you can define what a friend really is by words. Those explanations sound so simple and they don't do the word justice. I think first you would have to make clear that there are different levels of friendship. There is the people you are acquaintances with who are friends, convenient "friends", two faced "friends", good friends, and true friends. (The ones in quotes I use the word friend very loosely.) We surround ourselves with people who fit into all of these categories every day, or at least I do, but I am getting better at recognizing what categories they fit into.

In the past few months I have learned what friendship is not. I thought I learned this lesson my senior year in high school, but apparently it was one I have to relearn again. Friendship is not convenient, self centered, arrogant, pushy, condescending, two faced, untrustworthy, selfish, or not understanding. I could go on for a while, but you get the picture.

However, I have also seen what a true friend is, in more ways than one, but today I am going to give a prime example from my own life as to what defines friendship for me. When I think of a definition I don't come up with a string of words, I come up with names. I could list a few, but the only one I am going to talk about today is Kallyn Falvo. I met Kali the Sunday before my first day as a college student at the track and field team meeting. She was a high jumper and a new freshie just like me. Right from the start we hit it off great, along with the other two in our group, Sara and JA. Our freshman year was a blast! The four of us were always together, it was sad when I was sent away on my vault days and Kali went to high jump while JA and Sara went off to long and triple jump, but there was always the fun lifting days. Not only were we on the track team together, but we had almost every class together!

Yes, freshman year was great, but like always it was too good to be true and then sophomore year came and we didn't see each other as much. JA quit the team while Kali and Sara moved to the combined events and were always at the track working on one of their seven events, eight in Sara's case. Junior year followed much like the one before it and now we are seniors.

Virginia Tech was the first time this year that Kali and I got to sit down and have a real talk with no interruptions. Some people just understand you, almost better than you know yourself sometimes, and Kali surprised me that day by looking through what I was saying and she saw what was underneath. The topics were wide in variety that day. We talked about school, graduation, jobs, graduate school, her boy (who she was having serious issues with and that very night they broke up) and of course my boy. She like everyone else asked this question, "He doesn't have to go back does he?" I wish I could say no he is home for good, but that's not the case. I explained to Kali everything I knew and her reaction surprised me the most, she cried. I was stunned. Through her watery eyes and tears she said "I just know how hard it was the first time and I don't want you guys to have to do that again." Then she made me cry! Not only did she hear the words I said to her, but she saw into the very depths of my soul and in turn felt my inner most emotions as her own. Not many people can do that and she did.

I realized that day just how very special the bond between us has become. It is one that goes beyond teammates, it is a true friendship, one that I know will never go away by not talking every day. It is one that despite time and distance, it will always be there as a constant support and love. That is my definition of friendship.

"It's just something that happens as you grow up. You realize it's less important to have more friends and it's more important to have real ones"- Laguna Beach