Is that... Summer?

Bella has a mean mommy. At least she thinks so right now as she cries to go outside, but the door isn't opening. It's really hot today! Up to 90 degrees they say, but she doesn't care about that. She just hears the birds singing. I can't really blame her. It's nice to sit on the front porch just listening and watching the birds. Don't feel too sorry for her, she was out this morning before it got too hot. Somehow I'm getting the feeling that wasn't good enough. Poor baby.

I have a confession to make... Oh you know you've done it too. Seen someone in the store and to prevent yourself from having to talk to them, you walked the opposite direction and hoped they wouldn't see you. Yes... I did it. Kinda crazy I thought too since the person I was avoiding was my best friend from high school. We were best friends from 3rd grade until we graduated. There was no huge falling out, just a gradual drifting apart. You know, the normal thing that happens after graduation.

I had to question myself as I walked away. Why am I avoiding her? There was no reason, except maybe that I was wearing my oh so wonderful hallmark apron. (I was getting dinner next door at Harris Teeter.) Yup, I decided that was it. Not the apron per say, but what it stands for. Where I am. Here is a girl I've been close to for years, I didn't want her to see me with my nice bachelors degree and working part time for minimum wage. It's dare I say... Embarrassing. You do what you have to do, but I've always been the girl who had it all. So here I am five years down the road, working a dead end job for money that most days isn't even close to worth it. It's not that bad, but not where I want to be or where I pictured myself at this point.

Yes, I was embarrassed. What made it worse was that she isn't working a dead end job for minimum wage. She got her associates and is working as a nurse. Not only that, but she loves her job! Oh I'm happy for her. Very happy for her. I was her sounding board for a long time. We helped each other out and went through some really hard times. We encouraged each other. You know, what friends do. I was very opinionated back then, who am I kidding? I still am. She wanted to get married right out of high school, I convinced her to go to school. You can do both right? She enrolled at CPCC. Then came the part where we gradually drift apart. She got engaged I heard. Broke it off later. Only to get engaged again to the same guy and broke it off again. She was with her new man in HT when I saw her.

So maybe I shouldn't have been so embarrassed about my job situation. It's not really my fault I can't find a job. Goodness knows I'm trying. I guess she may have done the same thing. We all have things that embarrass us. Relationship failures. Lack of success. Money issues. Family. You name it, it could potentially embarrass you. I guess I've found mine and now it feels really silly. Who passes up a quick conversation with an old friend? I guess I do. Maybe next time I will do things differently. After all, I have a lot to be proud of too.

Bella picture of the day: Taken by Mommy!